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Wayne & Shaun
Wayne is a thirty two year old soldier who has just applied for a second tour of duty with the British Army. With a potential call up to Afghanistan looming, he is desperate to meet the father that he has never known. Worrying that he may never meet his birth father if he doesn’t find him before his deployment, Wayne is desperate to fill the gap in his life and discover who his father is, as well as gain an insight into his own identity.
Wayne tells the programme that when he was growing up he always felt different from his family, especially the man he believed was his dad. He says: “My dad was never into the outdoors like me. He never really showed an interest in me wanting to climb up whatever I could, wanting to bike ride from A to B as fast as I could do. I love him and I’ll always honour him, but there was always that feeling of – it’s not there.”
When Wayne was 15 his uncle let slip that the man Wayne thought was his dad was actually his stepdad. He says: “Since I found out, I feel there’s been a hole inside of me, sometimes I feel angry and sometimes I feel just…Who am I?”
The programme reveals the background to Wayne’s story. Wayne’s mother, Diane, lived and grew up in the Nottinghamshire mining village of Newstead some thirty two years ago. After she started seeing a local lad, Shaun Freeman, she soon fell pregnant, but Shaun’s family had a bad reputation. Wayne tells the programme: “I’ve spoken to family members and they say, you know, he was a bit of a rogue.”
News of the pregnancy caused a scandal in this small mining village with Diane’s parents banning Shaun from ever seeing their daughter again.
The only thing about his father that Wayne has managed to establish is that he left Newstead thirty years ago and hasn’t been seen since. He says: “The major mystery for me is who is he, where is he and what did he turn into?”
Davina explains that the search for Wayne’s Dad, Shaun, was going to be particularly difficult as no one knew where he lived, or even how he spelt his first name.
Nicky started the search for Shaun, but with the surname Freeman being so common it looked like a daunting task. However he narrowed the search to Nottinghamshire and managed to track down Shaun’s parents, the first breakthrough in the hunt for Wayne’s biological father. But the search hit a dead end when Shaun’s parents, Harold and Thelma, admitted they hadn’t seen or heard from Shaun in four years.
Nicky reveals that amazingly, the programme received a call from Shaun. He had heard about the search on the grapevine and wanted to meet, and amazingly he was in Nottingham.
Nicky meets up with Shaun and he tells Nicky how hard it was at the time to find out he was going to be a father, he was just a young teenager and came under lots of pressure from his and the mother’s family.
Davina visits Wayne to break the news that his father has been found. When Davina shows him a photo of his dad he tells her: “It’s like looking in a mirror. Some parts of me say, why haven’t you looked? ” Davina explains that Shaun had been worried about getting in touch as he didn’t know how much Wayne had been told, and whether it could be damaging to his son if he made contact.
They arrange to meet on a hill overlooking their old hometown of Newstead, where Shaun disappeared from thirty years ago.
On the way to the reunion, Nicky tells Shaun of his feelings when he met his birth mother for the first time. Shaun explains his nerves on the way to the reunion: “Is it fear? I don’t know if it’s fear because it’s an emotion which I can’t describe because it’s one I’ve never felt before.”
Shaun waits on a bench as Wayne makes the emotional walk up to the hill, where his dad is waiting for him.
As they both speak their first words together, they are moved to tears. Shaun admits: “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what…bloody hell. It’s beautiful, thank you, ‘cos if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t be sitting here now.”
Debbie & Jonathan
Debbie is a mum who is desperate to see her son. The last time she saw him was when he was a two month old baby. She was 20 when she gave birth and called her son David. Debbie made a decision 26 years ago to have her baby adopted. “I’ve never had a day in my life that I haven’t thought of him, and to me he has always been my son and will always will be.”
Debbie married at a young age, but there were problems and she was insecure which led to her temporarily separating from her husband. During that period, Debbie, who is white, started seeing a black man who went to the bar where she worked. She fell pregnant but he didn’t want to have anything to do with her and disappeared from her life. While Debbie was still pregnant, she and her husband decided to try to revive their marriage and, since she calculated that there was a slim chance that the baby was his they agreed that if it wasn’t they would look at adoption. Debbie explains: “Going through a pregnancy knowing you’ve got a chance it could be all be OK, or a chance that it would turn out that I wouldn’t be able to keep my baby was a horrible feeling to be honest with you.”
When Debbie gave birth and her new born baby was mixed raced she begged her husband to try raise him as part of their family. But after a few weeks of having the baby at home, he decided he could not continue and the decision was made to have David adopted.
Debbie wrote a letter to David explaining why she had him adopted which she gave to his adoptive parents to give to him when he was old enough, Debbie says: “I just hope that he understands how much I love him and loved him, and will always love him. I hope in some way that letter conveyed that, he never did anything to deserve this.”
But Debbie has never heard from her son, now aged 26, and has been searching for him for almost a decade and says: “I want to know that he has been happy, I so want to know that he has had a good life and I want to ask him not to hate me, to give me a chance to explain.”
Nicky starts the search which should have been straight forward as Debbie knew the names of David’s adopted parents. But she had hit a dead end in the UK and couldn’t find any trace of them. A three month search conducted by the Long Lost Family team finally ended when the team got the news they were hoping for, and that Debbie’s son had been traced. Debbie’s son who is now 26 years old, was found, living in America. His name is Jonathan and he has his own family, wife Rachel and a son called Jordan.
Nicky goes to America to meet Jonathan, who reveals he read Debbie’s letter when he was fifteen years old. Jonathan talks to Nicky about his feelings when he read the letter and says: “It took me hours because I wanted to read every detail of it as it was the only thing I had from my birth mum, so it was the only thing I could know of her.”
Jonathan explains he has been looking for his biological mother for the last 10 years and, overjoyed to learn that she has been desperately searching for him, he agrees to a reunion.
After meeting Jonathan, who flew over from the US to be reunited with his birth mother, Debbie says: “I just wanted to touch him like a mother would and just hold him. He totally felt like he was mine, he was my son.”
Thursday, 28 April 2011, 9:00PM – 10:00PM, ITV1
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